another moral hangover. fuck.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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