hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
