Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
