Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
