I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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