You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
