I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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