ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
