my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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