U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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