I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
