I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The adults are the big ones right?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
