She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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