youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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