why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
