I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize