there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
