all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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