i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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