you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
