8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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