If i come over, it means nothing
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
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What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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