So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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