I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
