The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
