Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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