how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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