There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
