Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
