Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
