Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
