Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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