Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
