i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
and she was petting her beer can
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
