I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize