I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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