Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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