I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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