a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
