yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
