well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
