I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
