She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
