do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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