It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
