Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
