oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
