Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
