this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
