She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize