he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize