Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
