Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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