My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
