Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The struggles of a small town man whore
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
