Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
